I came across this blog post on yesterday and it really inspired me to come up with my own list of things that I will teach my kids. Most of these are things that I wasn’t taught as a kid (or chose to ignore) and learned the hard way as I got older.
For those of you who don’t know me extremely well, my brother and I were born in Denver, CO and moved to Alabama after I was born. My parents divorced when I was only one year old. Shortly after that, we moved from Alabama back to Ohio where my mom is from and our father moved back to Germany where he had been stationed in the Army. The only communication we had with our father was through birthday cards that stopped coming after my 7th birthday. My mom re-married when I was in 5th grade.
During my senior year of High School, my brother tracked down our father. He got an email address and we communicated through email about 3 or 4 times, but it just felt awkward and eventually we stopped writing. I never heard from him again after that. A little over two years ago, my brother started trying to locate our father again and discovered that he had passed away from a heart attack about 3 months earlier.
My step dad taught me a lot about how to do things the hard way, even if it wasn’t the right way. I guess it was supposed to instill some sort of appreciation for hard work or something but I think it mostly taught me how not to do a lot of things. Just because it’s possible to take the door frame apart to fit the table through, doesn’t mean that’s what you should do in lieu of taking apart the much easier to disassemble table.
My father in-law has been the most influential male figure in my life over the last few years. Although, most likely too late to fix many of the bad habits I have already picked up in my youth. He is well versed in a wide range of topics, from car repair to DIY home repair to personal finances. And above all else, he values doing things the right way, even if it’s the hard way.
Recently, as more and more people are asking Emily and I when we are going to have kids, it’s got me thinking about what sort of lessons I would teach my children as they grow up, the article above just happened to show up as I’d been thinking about it. The list below is a combination of some things I was forced to learn for myself over the years the hard way, some things that I learned how NOT to do from my step father (and maybe one or two I did learn from him), and some things that I did eventually learn from my father in-law. This is a compilation of 10 lessons I will do everything in my power to make sure my future children eventually learn.
1. How to use and fix a computer -
It’s no secret that computers are the future (and the now). I learned how to use a computer by diving into my parents first computer and just clicking on things to see what they did. I broke a lot of stuff and got in trouble, but I learned a lot about computers in the process. Hopefully I can give my kids a bit more of a structured introduction to using computers, but I plan on showing them how to use a computer very early on in life.
2. How to fix a car -

I’m confident in my abilities to fix a computer. I am often called upon to fix computers for family & friends. However, when opening the hood of the car all I see is big metal things and tubey looking things. The first time I ever had to change a tire was when I had a tire blow out on Interstate 270 one day driving home from work. Fortunately, I’m good at figuring things out without exactly knowing what I’m doing so I was able to put the spare on with only one or two minor hiccups. I could have saved myself several thousands of dollars up to this point in my life if I knew even the slightest bit about fixing cars. Still today, I still have almost zero clue what I’m doing under the hood of a car, however my father in-law is pretty apt at that sort of thing so I’ll make sure my kids learn the important things once they get old enough to drive.
3. Finish college and do your homework -
To be blunt, I hate school. I hate every minute of it. Every minute I spend in a classroom feels like 2 minutes wasted (one for having sat through the class and another for what I could have been doing instead). However, looking back I realize how much easier things could have been had I actually gotten good grades in high school instead of playing video games all the time. This is one I can’t really blame on anyone but myself. My parents tried to tell me this, but I chose not to listen. Emily graduated as a valedictorian in high school and finished her bachelors degree and is now about to start work on her masters. I’m going to let her handle this one.
4. How and when to use the right tool for the job -
In recent years, I’ve become passionate about woodworking and building things instead of buying them. With that I’ve come to appreciate all of the different tools involved and when to use each one. Growing up, I remember it used to take 5-10 minutes just to find a screwdriver because they were usually strewn about the house and never kept in the same place, or all together for that matter. Through observing my father in-law, I learned the importance of both using the right tool for the job and taking care of your tools. Shame it took me 23-24 years to figure this one out, hopefully I can teach my kids this one much earlier on in life.
5. How to save money -
This one I can trace back to my early teenage years. I can remember wanting only a few things from my parents for Christmas (mostly video games) and rarely getting what I wanted (I know, boohoo, right?). Once I turned 16, I decided that instead of relying on my parents to buy stuff for me, I was just going to buy the things I wanted with my own money. Problem is, there was a lot of stuff I wanted and I ended up spending a lot of money. If I had more than $100 in my bank account, I felt like I was rich (and it usually didn’t last long). I probably accrued over a thousand dollars in overdraft fees between ages 16 and 23. Note: I got married right before my 24th birthday. Emily learned the importance of saving money early in her life so her saving habits have rubbed off on me in the last 3 years.
6. 99% of the people you meet in High School you won’t talk to again after graduation -
I wish someone would have told me early on in life not to care what the people I met in high school thought of me. I can think of maybe 20 people that I met in high school that I still talk to 8 years after graduation. So much of my time in high school was spent trying to impress the people around me instead of focusing on my school work. If I had known that the only thing that would matter after high school (other than meeting a few very close friends and my wife) is that you need to do well to get into a good college and then get into good career, I would have done it all different if I could do it again. This one I’m not sure I’ll be able to teach my kids, from what I understand, at this age they don’t really tend to care what you have to say, but I’ll try my hardest.
7. How to cook a steak -
Sure, it’s every man’s right of passage to develop his own unique style of grilling. However, there was a period in my life when I thought cooking steak on a George Foreman grill was an acceptable option. I was also under the impression that a steak wasn’t a steak unless it had A1 steak sauce. Though I’m grateful for having learned the importance of cooking a steak the right way, the thought of all those poor George Foreman grilled, over-cooked steaks drenched in A1 sauce that I ate along the way makes me sad. Steaks should be cooked on the grill or pan fried as the only alternative. I plan to teach my kids the value in a properly cooked steak as early as I can.
8. You have to respect the classics before you can appreciate the present -
As a kid, my step-dad used to make me watch all sorts of older movies on Saturday afternoons instead of the cartoons or comedy central shows I wanted to watch. I absolutely hated this. However, when I was 17 I got a job at Blockbuster and with 5 free movie rentals a week, I watched a lot of movies. This included a lot of really bad movies. I started to respect the classic movies and realized they don’t make movies like they used to anymore. Most of my favorite movies were made long before I even knew they existed. Before I let my kids play the latest and greatest video games, I’m going to make them play through some of the classics so they can truly appreciate what they have available to them. I look forward to being able to force my kids to suffer through the classics in hopes that when they get older, they too will share in this appreciation.
9. How to drive a manual transmission car -
It’s my opinion that every person should learn how to operate a car with a manual clutch at some point in their life. Sure they aren’t as prevalent as they once were, but it’s a valuable lesson that I think everyone needs to learn, not just my kids. But I can’t control what everyone else learns so I’ll just have to stick to making sure my kids know their way around a manual clutch.
10. There are sports other than Football -
Being from Denver, I grew up my whole life as a Denver Broncos fan. As far as I was concerned, the only sport worth watching was professional football. Having lived in Columbus for most of my life, I wasn’t even an Ohio State fan until the year after I graduated from High School. When I was 13 I was fortunate and discovered Hockey which know closely rivals football as my favorite sport. However, it took major sporting events to get me interested in other sports. I hated baseball until the 2004 ALCS between New York and Boston where Boston overcame a 3-0 series deficit to beat New York and eventually win the world series. I didn’t care for soccer at all until the 2006 world cup, now I have a fond appreciation for the game and greatly enjoy watching it. There are a lot of really great sports and sporting events and I’m going to make sure my kids have a well rounded appreciation for all sports as they grow older.
I’m sure there are many many more life lessons I will teach my kids, but those are the lessons every kid learns. I’m sure this list could have been twice as long. However, these were the first 10 I came up with.